This I love

So my mom tagged me the other day, which means that I get to write a list of 3 things I love besides my husband, children, or soda to commemorate this time of love. Since I don't care that much for soda (though I could really go for an orange one right now, oddly enough) that should be easy enough to avoid. The other two, however, are a little more difficult, because almost everything I do revolves around one of them, but I'll give it my best shot.

1. I love my Unisom and B6. Now, to be honest, I am not a medicine kind of person--I don't take painkillers unless I feel like I'm going to die if I don't. I do believe in the beauty of modern medicine, I just don't have much reason to use it, myself.

Except while I'm pregnant. For the majority of both of my pregnancies now, I have had severe morning sickness. Severe as in puking 8+ times a day, unless I take Unisom and B6. These are lifesavers for me--they drop the throwing-up down to 2-3 times a day in the first trimester, and then to not at all during the second and third. I do try to go off the meds every now and then, because at some point I feel like my body should be done being sick, but as was evidenced yesterday, I am not to that point yet this pregnancy. I think last time I was able to stop taking it around two weeks before I had Breanne... maybe this time will be the same. I don't want to be (or sound like) an addict, but I love this stuff.

2. I love feeding people. I love cooking a good meal (and baking a delicious cheesecake!) and feeding it to people, be it my own small family, my larger family, or friends. I love watching them react to delicious (usually...) new foods, and I love giving out my recipes so they can make it themselves. Even if most of my recipes are my mother-in-law's. :) I also love the prep that goes into a dinner party--the planning, the prepping, the cleaning, and finally the cooking. I love it all. And I love that I have a husband who is so willing to help me with it. I just wish I did it more often, at least for my own little family.

3. I love being pregnant. Even though I sometimes feel like it strips women of all their dignity (the waddling, the puking, the stretchmarks, the occasionally overwhelming feeling of fatness...), it is such a beautiful thing. I love feeling the baby move and stretch inside me. I love knowing that my body is able to create another beautiful human being. Or at least start the creation process, as the baby seems almost to create itself, once I get it started. I love knowing that I, the one who can barely draw stick-figures, can be a part of creating real life. Not just art (though it is that, too), but real life. People always talk about how they can't imagine doing it (Cory claims he couldn't, for example), but I can't imagine not wanting to be a part of it.


And with that, I guess I get to tag some more people... So I tag Janene, Tannie, Becky, Eric, Anna, Shilo and Brandon. (Am I allowed to tag 7 people?) I'm pretty sure there wasn't a limit on the number of people I tag, so if anyone else wants to do it, too, please feel free. I'd also like to hear from Cory, though I'm not sure you have a blog to post on, so feel free to post here. :)

A Bittersweet Loss

(photo courtesy of http://bestbunch.blogspot.com/2007/11/looking-up-god-bless-america.html)

And, since everyone else seems to be doing it...

A recipe for some great (and super easy!) blueberry muffins I made today:

Muffin Base:
3/4 C Milk
1/4 C Vegetable Oil
1 Egg
2 C Flour
1/2 C Sugar
2 tsp. Baking Powder
1/2 tsp. Salt
1 C Fresh, canned (drained) or frozen blueberries

Streusel Topping (optional, but tastes great!):
1/4 C Flour
1/4 C Packed Brown Sugar
1/4 tsp. Cinnamon
2 Tbsp. Firm butter or stick margarine


1. Heat oven to 400, grease bottoms of muffin cups
2. Make Streusel Topping, set aside
3. Beat together milk, oil and egg, then stir in flour, sugar, baking powder and salt all at once just until flour is moistened (batter will be lumpy and thick). Fold in blueberries. Divide into muffin cups, sprinkle each with about 1 T topping.
4. Bake 20-25 minutes, or until golden brown.

These look beautiful and difficult, but are so quick and easy and tasty! I love my Betty Crocker cookbook!

Some thoughts on names...

So everyone keeps asking what we're going to name our baby girl. A valid question, seeing as she'll be here in less than 2 months. Unfortunately, the answer is that we honestly don't know. However, last night we were able to sit down and come up with a few names we like... just not sure what to use. Here are some of our ideas, feel free to give us feedback, if you want.

Cailin Danielle (Pronounced KAY-lynn, emphasis on the Kay, not the lynn)
Janie Renae
Jainy Ranae
Abigail Paige
Hailey Renae
Sarah Paige

We don't have any huge attachment to any of the names (they aren't family names or anything), just names that we kinda like, and are thinking about. Hopefully we'll have it a little more narrowed down by the time this baby girl comes.

This makes me crazy.

So the other day Cory and I noticed a new billboard up right at the point of the mountain advertising a film. What caught my attention was that the billboard was pretty much just black, with the catch phrase, "The first R rated mormon film ever," and then the name of the film, "Falling" underneath that. So let me just point out two things that were standing out in my mind at the time I saw this.

First of all, I couldn't help but realize the billboard was up right in the middle of the transition from Utah Valley to SL Valley. Not coming back the other way, of course, but leaving Utah Valley. The assumption that Utah Valley is equivalent to Mormon Valley (or something like that) drives me nuts. Yes, there are a lot of members down here. Yes, BYU is also down here. But no, that does not make us perfect, just as leaving the valley does not mean that we're leaving the Church and want to watch R rated films about the church. That whole thought process may seem a stretch to some people, but that was honestly on my mind.

Second thing: honestly, who advertises a film like that? I mean, it seems to me that it'll just infuriate the audience who does watch LDS cinema, because it's almost a mockery of the genre, if that makes sense, and they probably don't watch many R rated films anyway, and then the audience who doesn't normally watch LDS films will just think it's another LDS film, and also not watch it. Or at least that's my hope. Seems like a pretty tacky way to advertise.

So anyway, I've been thinking about this for a couple days now, and just this morning Cory turned on X96 for their movie reviews, and they actually reviewed Falling. Turns out it's by Richard Dutcher, the same guy who did God's Army, among some other works. So not really that surprising, I guess, considering the somewhat controversial nature of some of his other works, but still frustrating to me that he would advertise in such a way. This is the kicker, though--while they were interviewing him, Dutcher himself said that it didn't really matter that the main character was LDS--he could've been Catholic or any other denomination, and it would've had the same effect--the religion in the story doesn't really matter. So why the heck did he advertise the film as "the first R rated Mormon film"? It just seems like such a cheap blow to try and bring the audiences in. The film is only premiering in the Gateway theater, in Utah (which is also in SL Valley, if you were wondering...), so he had to use what Utahns know to advertise. It just disgusts me. Here's the link, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0790660/, if anyone wants to read more about it (though there isn't currently a lot of info up about it).

Cousins

Isn't it amazing how different cousins can look? I mean, Audrey and Claire aren't technically related to each other, but they're both related to Breanne, and yet they don't look anything like her, or at least not to me. Other than that they all have the squashy-new-baby face, but that's to be expected.

Breanne, Day 1
Audrey, Day 1
Claire, Day 1

Breanne sleeping
Audrey (maybe?) sleeping
Claire sleeping.


And yet they're all beautiful.

Largeness

So the other day when we walked in to the delivery unit at the hospital where my sister-in-law was having her baby, we had to stop to talk to a receptionist. She took one look at me, and said something to the effect of, "You look like you should be checking in here yourself!"

I still have two months left, and that came from a woman who sees women at full term every day. Sheesh.

A Bad Mom

So generally speaking, I feel like I'm doing ok in the Mom department. Breanne is pretty much a genius, and I really enjoy just hanging out with her and playing most days. We do let her watch too much tv, which is bad, but overall, I feel like as parents, Cory and I do pretty well. Breanne gets bathed regularly, gets enough attention, and is constantly learning new things. I try not to take her around other kids that are sick, or if she's sick, we stay home. Sounds reasonable, right?

Well, today that world came crashing down around me. My sister-in-law, Becca, had a baby last night. We were there when the baby was born (in the waiting room) but it was so late (after 10:30) that we didn't get to hold the baby or anything, just figured we'd go back today and do that. So we did. We got up this morning, got ready for the day, ate some breakfast, and headed over to the hospital. Now, to be honest, Breanne has had a cold lately, but she really is almost better. She's been taking some albuterol aerosol treatments, and they have helped a ton, so I figured we'd just keep her away from the baby, and everything would be fine. And it was. Until she puked all of her breakfast all over me and the chair I was sitting in at the hospital...

While I'm pretty sure it was just a fluke--Breanne hasn't had any other symptoms of new illness, and she acts like she feels fine--and there wasn't any contact between Breanne and the baby, or Breanne's vomit and the baby, and we disinfected everything around where we were sitting, I still feel like such an awful mom for taking a "sick" child into the room of a brand new baby. What kind of mom does that, seriously? One of those irresponsible, bad mothers that I've worked so hard to not be. I feel terrible. Becca took it really well, I think knowing that I wouldn't bring Breanne around if I knew she was sick, but I still felt really bad. And poor Chris (Becca's husband, Cory's brother)... I'm pretty sure it was just luck that he didn't start puking himself... those Kilgers have bad gag reflexes, I guess. At any rate, I feel like such a bad mom today. And the worst part is that I just want to go back and hold the baby again! She's adorable. Hopefully I'll have pics up in the near future... when I feel like I can go back to the hospital without feeling totally guilty.

Looking back (and forward)

I stole this from my friend Valerie's note on Facebook--thought it was kind of a fun survey, but didn't realize it was so long when I was reading it on her page. So feel free to read it or disregard it as you please. Mostly it just made me think back over al of the past year, instead of just the hard parts, which was good.


Where did you begin 2007?
In our cozy apartment with my hubby and then 9 month old baby. Not sure if any friends actually stuck it out long enough to see the new year with us at our house that night... can't remember.

What was your status by Valentine's Day?
Still happily married.

Were you in school (anytime this year)?
Other than Sunday School, nope, sadly. Maybe this year I'll take an aerobics class at least, perhaps something more artsy. We'll see.

Did you have to go to the hospital?
Only for Breanne's tube-in-ear surgery, and to visit a few people who definitely needed visits.

Did you have any encounters with the police?
Just when Cory got pulled over, I think.

Where did you go on vacation?
Yellowstone! and it was a blast, even with the morning sickness.

What did you purchase that was over $500?
We bought a house, and a new (well, new to us, anyway) car. We also managed to buy new wheels, tires, and other random parts for the car that added up to well over 500.00.

Did you know anybody who got married?
Yep, a sister-in-law, and a couple friends.

Did you know anybody who passed away?
Umm, I actually can't think of anyone... must've been a good year, I guess.

Did you move anywhere
Yes! Clear around the corner, into the house we bought in July. I'm beginning to believe that these short-distance moves are a lot more difficult than long-distance ones... we're never as organized as we need to be to make them.

What sporting events did you attend?
Hmm, not coming up with anything.

What concerts/shows did you go to?
Again, not really coming up with anything. We've become such a boring people as of late! No money, I guess. Maybe BYU's production of Oklahoma was this year, which I went to to watch Cory play...

Where do you live now?
Provo, UT. Still.

Describe your birthday.
Hmm. Not the best time of the year this year, unfortunately. I believe I had some sort of Primary function in the morning or something like that, then out to lunch with our friend Tyler (probably the nicest part of the day) then went to a book party (and signed up to sell Usborne books, a decision I have not regretted in the least), then up to Salt Lake to go to the last few minutes of a family reunion my Grandma insisted I attend against my will because she had a cake made just for me, then off to visit my Dad. It was just a busy day in a really stressful time. But I didn't cry all day, which I was proud of.

What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2007?
Sold my (our, really) Corolla... that was so sad. First car I ever bought with my own money. It blew a hole in the engine block, though, so I guess it was time.

What has/have been your favorite moment(s)?
Honestly--sitting with Cory, mutually crying over some dumb tv show or movie... just being together, and realizing that we both feel the same way sometimes. We've had a lot of good moments together this year, and have grown together a lot, I think. Our one crazy week, during which we found out that our offer had been accepted on a house, Cory had been offered a new job, and we found out that I was pregnant again, is also pretty high on the list.

What's something you learned about yourself?
That I am stronger than I thought I was. I know who I am, and who I want to be, when a lot of people I know and love do not.

Any new additions to your family?
Well, Audrey was born in March, my first niece. And Kimmy married Cory in August (though technically, we're already family, so that probably doesn't really count... we have the same 4th great-grandma, or something like that). And now we're expecting our 2nd, due in March, so though she isn't here yet, I'm pretty sure she counts as an addition in 2007, because she is definitely already a little person.

What was your best month?
That's a toughie. Maybe July or August, when we bought our house, and went on vacation and just enjoyed being together, before Cory's school started up again and things got too crazy to bear.

What music will you remember 2007 by?
Honestly, probably mostly Sesame Street stuff... like the "La la la" L song. :) Oh, and the Snowman song, Popcorn Popping, and Entsy-Weentsy Spider. Can't count how many times I've sang those over the last few months. For real music--our car radio was broken for a while this year, so we didn't listen to much, and now I'm just never out in the car, because Cory has it so much of the time. I'm sure he has music to remember this year by, though.

Made new friends?
Yeah, a few through Primary and our ward activities, which has been really fun. No one too close, though, I guess.

Favorite Night[s] out
Going to see Juno with Cory the last night of December stands out as a good date, as does the night we saw Stalking Santa and got ice cream afterwards. I also really enjoyed playing games with the family on numerous occasions, Scrabble with Cory's family, card games at Yellowstone with mine.

Any regrets?
Not really. I wish that some things hadn't had to happen, but it's good that they did, just the same, I think. I feel like we responded to everything in the best way that we could. And while I don't love our Cavalier like I did the Corolla, even that is starting to grow on me, now that the smell of the air freshener doesn't make me puke every time I get in the car...

What do you want to change in 2008?
I want to be kinder and more considerate of others, and a little bit less cynical of the world. I would like to not make fun of tv shows when they're emotional (unless they're just being ridiculous...) and have a little bit more sensitivity to others feelings. I want to be more patient.

Overall, how would you rate this year?
It was a good year. Lots of crazy stuff, but much of it necessary. And a lot of it good--buying a house, getting pregnant again, the job switch--all good things.

Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?
Hmm, up visiting family, mostly, I'd guess.

Have any life changes in 2007?
Yes, we've already gone through those, though.

Change your hairstyle?
Somewhat sadly, no. My hair is finally going back to it's pre-Breanne self, though, which is weird (because I'm pregnant again) but I really like.

Get a new job?
Yep, as an Usborne consultant.

How old did you turn this year?
24

Do you have a New Year's resolution?
Yeah. Lame as it sounds, I really am going to try to eat healthier, and once this baby comes out, I hope to get to a point where I really feel comfortable with my body again. I know, I know, you all thought I looked just fine, but it's me I have to convince.

Do anything embarrassing?
Nothing comes to mind, I don't really get embarrassed that easily.

Buy anything new from eBay?
EBay, nope, but online yes, for the first time I can think of. Lots of books, some clothes, and a few other things.

What was/were your favorite purchase[s]?
Our house, and firewood for our fires.

Get married or divorced?
Nope.

Get arrested?
Nope

Be honest - did you watch American Idol?
Of course! But I was disappointed with the results, like most always.

Did you get sick this year?
Not that I can remember... Cory and Breanne took care of that for the three of us.

Start a new hobby?
Yep, selling books, and I really got into making bows for Breanne and other babies, among other things. Also made several baby quilts and blankets.

Been snowboarding?
Still haven't and probably won't ever.

Are you happy to see 2007 go?
Yes, I am excited for what's to come this year. A new baby, Cory's possible (and hopeful) graduation... lots of big changes in store with that, I'm sure.

Drank Starbucks in 2007?
Nope, still never even been inside one.

Been naughty or nice?
Probably both.

What are you wishing for in 2008?
That we are successful at parenting two girls, that Cory graduates, and that we start to get the rest of our lives figured out.