A Bad Mom

So generally speaking, I feel like I'm doing ok in the Mom department. Breanne is pretty much a genius, and I really enjoy just hanging out with her and playing most days. We do let her watch too much tv, which is bad, but overall, I feel like as parents, Cory and I do pretty well. Breanne gets bathed regularly, gets enough attention, and is constantly learning new things. I try not to take her around other kids that are sick, or if she's sick, we stay home. Sounds reasonable, right?

Well, today that world came crashing down around me. My sister-in-law, Becca, had a baby last night. We were there when the baby was born (in the waiting room) but it was so late (after 10:30) that we didn't get to hold the baby or anything, just figured we'd go back today and do that. So we did. We got up this morning, got ready for the day, ate some breakfast, and headed over to the hospital. Now, to be honest, Breanne has had a cold lately, but she really is almost better. She's been taking some albuterol aerosol treatments, and they have helped a ton, so I figured we'd just keep her away from the baby, and everything would be fine. And it was. Until she puked all of her breakfast all over me and the chair I was sitting in at the hospital...

While I'm pretty sure it was just a fluke--Breanne hasn't had any other symptoms of new illness, and she acts like she feels fine--and there wasn't any contact between Breanne and the baby, or Breanne's vomit and the baby, and we disinfected everything around where we were sitting, I still feel like such an awful mom for taking a "sick" child into the room of a brand new baby. What kind of mom does that, seriously? One of those irresponsible, bad mothers that I've worked so hard to not be. I feel terrible. Becca took it really well, I think knowing that I wouldn't bring Breanne around if I knew she was sick, but I still felt really bad. And poor Chris (Becca's husband, Cory's brother)... I'm pretty sure it was just luck that he didn't start puking himself... those Kilgers have bad gag reflexes, I guess. At any rate, I feel like such a bad mom today. And the worst part is that I just want to go back and hold the baby again! She's adorable. Hopefully I'll have pics up in the near future... when I feel like I can go back to the hospital without feeling totally guilty.


Jessie said...

Because I can hear some sarcastic comment coming about my writing, let me clarify... we were waiting in the waiting room when the baby was born in a delivery room. The baby was not born in the waiting room where we were. Sorry in advance for any confusion.

gilian said...

I hope you know that you are the best mother in the world. Breanne is an amazing girl and while some of that is certainly genetic, much of it is because of you and Cory's nurturing of that precious child. Anybody who has ever seen you with Breanne would know that you would never expose a newborn to a sick child. I know that from the following experiences:

1. Weren't you the one with the protective look that would instantly send sick people scurrying from your newborn?
2. Weren't you the one who insisted I not feed Breanne ice cream before one year of age? Or peanut butter before 18 months? Or anything else fun that I was certain couldn't possibly harm her, but you clearly took her safety so very seriously?
3. I could go on and on, but I don't want readers to think I'm biased, because even if I am, what I post is true.

You're the best mom ever. Don't sweat the vomit--kids throw up in all kinds of inconvenient places like hospitals and circuses and church and car seats. It's all okay. Especially in a hospital because where else could they truly disinfect every thing so totally. seriously.

gilian said...

okay, after rereading my comment of last night, I realize I need to clarify a couple of things.

First, you are in the top 3 list of best moms in the world that I know.

And second, perhaps I am the only one who ever actually felt the protective mother, don't you dare feed her that yet, look. Possibly because I was always trying to advance her diet sooner than was in your plan of what is best for your baby. And since she is your daughter, I had to learn that you knew best for her. But I will always remember the day you let me give her watermelon to chew on at Cowboy Grub and how much she enjoyed that sweet, juicy slice of fruit. Even if you had already given her some a few days before.