I just swallowed the last pill of my prescription that I started last week. Not normally an achievement worth celebrating, but when the stupid things have to be taken 4 times a day (read:every 6 hours, regardless of the time), either an hour before I eat or two hours after... I can't believe they can't make something more concentrated that you only have to take once or twice a day or something, especially since most of the patients taking them are nursing mothers. I never understood before why a person wouldn't finish their prescription--now I do.

Thankfully, I am done.

Sometimes I'm pretty sure we're crazy.

So Cory and I have been talking about getting another car for quite a while now--very basic things, like grocery shopping and getting to doctors appointments have become somewhat difficult since Cory started working up in Salt Lake last summer. Also, Cory's commute is killing our already ailing car, so we wanted something more reliable. We started discussing this more seriously the last few weeks, as the doctors appointments kept piling up for the girls, prescriptions and groceries needed to be picked up, etc. etc., and we discovered that our car had another couple hundred dollars of work needed to bring it back up to what it needs to be to drive to SL every day, so by the time the Larry H Miller sale flier came this week, we were pretty ready to actually consider buying a car. We figured that even though we don't really want another monthly payment, it would be much easier than trying to come up with a reasonable amount of cash to buy something used from the paper or KSL's car guide that would be any better than what we have now. So last night I sent Cory to the dealership to check out what was available, and to make sure it was all legit. He came back pretty excited about what he'd seen, so tonight we went in together to see what we could find.

Here it is:

Ok, ok, I didn't take that picture, but by the time we were finished with all the paperwork, it was too dark to take a picture. Maybe I'll post something tomorrow.

Anyway, it's a 2006 Hyundai Elantra. A little bit more than we were hoping to pay every month, but comes with all kinds of warranties, and it only has 20,000 miles on it. I am scared out of my mind about having more debt, but I know that we're capable of paying for it (as long as we are careful with our spending, and are willing to work, which we are), and we are so excited to have a car that doesn't feel like it's about to fall apart every time we go anywhere! One of the great things about it for me is that I now have a car to drive around Provo--I can go to the grocery store whenever I want! I can take the girls to the library, or a farther away park, or wherever we want to go! I can get my boxes of stuff to the DI without having to remind Cory a million times to do it. It makes me very, very happy. And I don't have to worry so much about Cory having a break-down somewhere between here and his work every day. I am so excited about that. And to make things even better, I don't know if I've ever seen Cory this excited. Or at least not since he got his last free laptop from Apple.

Oh, did I mention it's a stick? I don't even know how to drive one of those, but I'm excited to finally learn. I understand the concept, but I've just never had the opportunity to do it before--I'm even excited to learn. Good times.


Last but not least...

I seem to be in a posting frenzy tonight, but it's just because things (seem to) have calmed down a bit around here, and I have a minute.

I wanted to take a sec to thank everyone for their help this past week--it has been really, really tough to watch Janey be so sick, and to keep Breanne in the house (mostly stuck in front of the tv, sadly) while I took care of her, but we made it through with some great help and comfort. To be more specific, I'd like to thank those who brought us meals (I tried to tell the compassionate service leader that we didn't need any, I was fine--I'm so glad she insisted they set them up anyway (all this before Janey was sick--pretty sure it was inspired)), our home teacher who came over at 10:00 at night (I didn't realize it was so late, and was so embarrassed when he left and I realized it was 10:30...) to give Janey a blessing, my wonderful pediatrician and his nurse, as well as the respiratory guy at the hospital, both for their abilities, and for their compassion for a very sick child (and their recognition of her as such), and our family and friends for their prayers and willingness to do whatever we needed.

More specifically in that last group I'd like to thank a few more people: Becca, my sister-in-law who let me borrow her ever-so-nice electric pump when Janey was so sick and not eating well, and who was also willing to help out in whatever way she could when I was sick this week; my dad, who called to make sure I was doing ok when I needed it most (and let me cry, while gently comforting me); my mom, who not only has provided comfort and tales of past illnesses in her own kids to give me hope, but who also has spent so much time worrying about us and trying to take care of us in whatever way she could, despite her own illness, and who constantly reassures me that I am doing well as a mom when I need it most; and my wonderful Cory, who stuck it out with me through this past difficult week, helping me out when I needed it, (which meant taking tests and completing/turning in assignments at crazy hours, and missing some classes or work hours so we could make it to appointments) and just generally taking care of me, as well as the girls when I thought I couldn't do any more. This has probably been one of the most difficult weeks of my life, but I made it through, thanks to all of you, with your help and thoughts and prayers. I appreciate and love you all.

After a day at the Park

Breanne was exhausted and fell asleep on the couch.

Janey, however, had been in my carrier asleep the entire time, and so was ready for a photo shoot. Here's a sample of what we came up with:

You'd think they were sisters or something...

Breanne at almost 2 weeks:

Janey a day past 2 weeks:

When I look at baby pictures of Breanne and Janey side-by-side, I can't believe how similar they look.

Or how much they both look like their dad:


Newfound Treasures

So the other day Cory accidently knocked our camera off the table. Now, this has happened plenty of times, what with a nearly two-year-old hanging around. Unfortunately, however, this time it must've landed on the display or something, because it broke. Now you can still use the camera, but there is no way to tell where it is focusing, because the lcd is gone, and there is no other view finder. Rather than trying to continue using it anyway, I decided to get out our old camera and begin using it, instead.

When I charged up the batteries and turned it on, I was surprised to find a whole card's worth of pictures from the 2 weeks after Breanne's birth that we didn't even know existed! So here are a few of my favorites... I can't believe how much Janey looks like her. And it makes me wonder what color Janey's eyes will actually end up--looks like Breanne's were lighter all along, so we'll just have to see, I guess.

My thoughts on pediatricians....

Can I just say something about pediatricians here? I love ours, because I really feel like he knows my kids, and makes an effort to do so. He does seem to be collecting a lot of patients still (he still does a lot of work at the hospital), but I don't even mind waiting for him because I feel like it is so worth it to see him. We've seen most of the dr's at the practice (Breanne had really bad ear infections last winter and needed to be seen regularly and our dr wasn't always available) and I just can't find one that even compares with the dr. we see. Most of the other doctors seem to really rush through appointments, and often make light of my concerns, which really, really bothers me. I guess maybe some people really like quick appointments, or something... I just can't figure out why they'd choose someone like the rest of the doctors at the practice. I mean--they obviously know medicine, but they just don't seem to care about the patients as much, I guess. At least that's the way I see it. I guess I'd just rather take the extra hour or less and have a real appointment (one where they accurately weigh the baby, and use the right tools to get her blood oxygen level, and actually feel her belly, just in case...) where I can actually discuss my concerns with the doctor, and he can give me the info I need to feel confident about taking care of my sick child.


Well, we made it through the night with no emergency room visits... though I was pretty worried for a bit there. Janey's breathing has been pretty rapid, but her fever is gone, and she's still been eating well, so we're still in the safe zone. I took her in to see a dr. today (not our normal one, he doesn't work wednesdays, unfortunately) and he let me listen through his stethoscope to her breathing. She was wheezing, but not to the point where we should take her in yet, and he was hopeful that we wouldn't have to. He also gave us a prescription so we can take her to the pediatric floor of the hospital any time we want to have her mucus suctioned out... a very hard sad thing to watch, but definitely worth it for her breathing. She just can't quite cough stuff out on her own. It's so sad. And he said that when we take her to the hospital, they can let us know if they feel like they should keep her, too, which is also reassuring, because it means another opinion. All in all, it was a good visit even though it wasn't with our pediatrician.


An Exhausting Day

So I thought it was bad last week when Breanne was super sick, but I think I was wrong.

Janey started coughing on Sunday, I thought just because she'd swallowed some milk wrong. But instead of going away, it just got worse. Then yesterday when she woke up, her eyes were all watery, and she just looked like she didn't feel good. Sure enough, by last night, she had a fever of about 99.4, where it stayed all night. So this morning I took her into the doctor, half expecting him to just send me home because the fever wasn't high enough, or the symptoms hadn't been around long enough. Much to my surprise, he seemed even more concerned about her than I was, and sent me to the hospital to have some blood tests run, and to have a respiratory test done.

Now, I don't know if you've ever had to see your child poked and prodded, but it's pretty sad. Add to that having drops put in their nose followed by a catheter thing that sucks out their mucus, and you have some idea of what poor Janey had to go through today, at only 11 days old.

Our pediatrician called with the results of the tests tonight (have I ever talked about how much I love our pediatrician? Dr. Brad Anderson, if anyone is looking for a good pediatrician in Utah County). The bloodwork all came back fine (which meant no meningitis, thank heavens, or group B strep, which I had and didn't get antibiotics for long enough while in labor). It also showed that her white blood cell count was up a little bit, which meant that her body was fighting whatever she had. The respiratory tests were not so positive, though--or maybe they were--they came back showing she has RSV. The good news is that as long as she keeps eating and having dirty and wet diapers, and keeps breathing well, she can stay home. If any of that changes, though, she's headed off to the hospital.

I can't believe how quickly things can get bad. I mean--she hasn't even hardly left the house--only to go to a dr.'s appt of Breanne's, and to a few family member's houses. Now I just pray we'll be able to keep it under control, and she'll be a good fighter and get healthy quickly.


Poor Kid.

So did I mention that in the last week Breanne got a new sister, and the worst cold of her life? And that she thinks tylenol is yucky, so can't get any relief for the aches and pains of being sick, or her fever of 102? Oh, and that she's getting her back molars on top?

Rough week. Poor girl.

I figure if I can handle this week, normal ones should be cake... but we'll see.


Janey is here!

People keep asking me how my labor went this time, so I thought I'd post the story here--

So last thursday night (march 6th) I started having some contractions, severe enough that I recognized them, but nowhere near regular or hard enough to justify going to the hospital, so I went to bed. They slowed enough to let me sleep, which was great. I woke up the next morning having more contractions, and feeling like I would probably have the baby that day, but still feeling like I wasn't ready yet. I did, however, have a dr's appt. at 9:35, so we got up and ready for that. When we got to the appointment, they were (of course) running behind, so we didn't get taken back into a room until 10:00, and then it took another 20 minutes for the doctor to finally come in.

He apologized for his lateness, and then proceeded to check for the heartbeat, which was great, and then checked my cervix. Dilated to a 3, 85-90% effaced, so a bit more on my way than last week. He then asked me if I wanted him to strip my membranes, to which I of course replied yes, because I was pretty sure it would bring the labor on faster. So he proceeded to start stripping them, and was pretty aggressive about it (I don't remember it being anywhere near so intense with Breanne...), when suddenly he sort of stopped, looked at me, and said, "Um, I think I just broke your water! That's never happened to me while stripping membranes before." So by now I can feel my water leaking out of me all over the table, and all I can say is sorry for making such a mess of the office... to which he responds by telling me that first of all, it wasn't my fault it was his, and then that I am officially in labor now, and we need to go straight to the hospital. This was exciting, because it means they can't turn me away (broken water=possibility for infection, for those that might not know), and that we were going to have a baby that day.

So the hospital is only two buildings away from my dr's office. We rushed over there, and by the time we got there (a whopping 5 or so minutes later) my contractions had strengthened to probably twice as hard as they were before. They quickly admitted us, and we started calling people to let them know we were having a baby. At 11:00, the nurse came in to check my cervix. I was still at a 3, same effaced. So I continued to labor, at this point still wondering whether or not I would get an epidural. I mean, I was planning on it, but I always feel just a little bit like a wimp when I get one, because so many other women do without, and I honestly believe I could do it without one, but... Anyway, I continued to hold off on the epidural, and at 12:00, they checked me again, still at a 3. So they decided to start some pitocin (a drug that strengthens contractions), at which point I decided to get the epidural (pitocin brings on the harder contractions so fast, and I wasn't really wanting to feel that). At 1:00 they checked again, dilated to a 4, so definitely making progress, though with Breanne I was at a 4 for several hours, so I figured I still had a ways to go. Around 2:00, I started to feel more pain in my body. I thought it was because I hadn't rolled over in a while (the epidural tends to drain into the side of your body you're laying on (since you have to lay on your side)), so I waited for the nurse to come in, and was about to ask her to help me move after she finished checking my cervix, when she said, "Um, you're nearly there. Dilated to more than a 9, 100% effaced."

Not what I had expected to hear... At this point we kicked everyone else out of the room (a dr once told me "if they weren't there for conception, they shouldn't be there for the reception"... advice I loved, because I do think it's a very intimate time), and I started crying because I couldn't believe it was time to deliver my baby already. The whole pregnancy had flown by, and now I wasn't going to be able to feel her inside me anymore, and she was going to be out, and what if I didn't love her the same as Breanne, and how would I ever be a mom to two girls... and along those lines, what if she wasn't a girl afterall... The fears were a bit overwhelming. Cory comforted me, and assured me that everything would go wonderfully, the girls would both be beautiful and that I would be a great mom... all while eating his ham and cheese from the cafeteria (he'd thought we had more time, too).

At this point it was time to deliver. I was fully dilated, and ready to go. The dr was there, the nurse was ready, and I was in position. They didn't give me any sort of blanket this time, which at first I thought was weird, but then I realized there wasn't a mirror in the room, either, so I wouldn't be able to see the baby born if they'd covered me up. When the dr. looked at the baby (still inside me) he realized that she was posterior, which means she was still facing my stomach instead of my back. He thought we'd have to use the forceps to turn her (same that they did with Breanne) which I was a little upset about (I had major recovery issues because of this after Breanne), but he had me push through one contraction and she straightened up enough that he didn't need them after all. I pushed through two more contractions, he cut a small episiotomy (again, not something I wanted with Breanne, but so glad he did it with Janey... recovery has been thousands of times better), and out came beautiful Janey! I got to watch the whole thing, which although it might sound gross to those who haven't ever had a baby is absolutely wonderful. There is no feeling like seeing your child for the first time. She was caked in vernix, and a little bit purpley-blue, but amazing and beautiful just the same.

The similarities in Breanne and Janey's faces are amazing. They have the same brow and eye shapes, similar noses, and the same general face shape. I think Breanne has my lips where Janey has Cory's, but we'll see if they stay that way.

Janey weighed in at 8 lbs even (just like Breanne) and was only 18 inches long (Breanne was 18.5). The nurses loved her chubby little legs... they already have rolls. She has a headful of dark hair, which I think will stay pretty brunette and straight. Her eyes were so dark that at first we wondered if we could've gotten a brown-eyed girl, but as the days have gone by they've lightened up some to a deep blue, and since Cory and I both have blue, there's not really much chance for us to get anything other than that. All in all, she is a beautiful girl, and we love her. She sleeps way more than Breanne did, I'm pretty sure, which has been a big blessing for me as I've been getting used to taking care of two girls.

I'm not sure what exactly has made recovery so much easier this time around (a combination of everything, I guess) but it has been such a blessing. I feel great--my episiotomy stitches barely sting, and I haven't needed any pain meds for over a day now (with Breanne I was taking them for at least 2 weeks). I am so glad that everything went so well this time around. It has made things easier not only on me, but on Cory and Breanne too, for which I am grateful. Breanne has come down with a virus, and has been feeling pretty crappy, so I'm glad I'm capable of taking care of her while Cory continues with school and work. I also appreciate all the help my mom and Cory's family has given us the past couple of days--even though I can do the dishes and laundry, it is really nice to not have to worry about all that, and to be able to focus on the girls.

I love saying "the girls." I was really worried about learning to love another child in the same way that I love Breanne. I've come to realize, however, that they both are my children, both my girls, each wonderful in their own ways, and it would be impossible for me to not love them each, both individually and as sisters.

I will post new pictures later, but right now I need to get some sleep. If you haven't already seen them, there are pictures of the day at the hospital at http://picasaweb.google.com/cmkilger/Janey.


Apparently Breanne isn't the only one who likes her new bed...

So last night Cory and I were getting Breanne ready for bed like usual, and Cory asked her if she wanted to get into her new bed. She said no (of course, that's her response to pretty much anything these days...), so he said something to the effect of "fine, I'll sleep in it, then!" and hopped in. Within probably 30 seconds, Cory was breathing heavily... lately he has had an amazing knack for falling asleep fast. He was so out that he didn't even wake up for the flash of my pictures...

Breanne playing with her toys while dad slept... She put that ball in his hand after he fell asleep, and he didn't wake up. Poor tired guy. :)

And I just had to show off Breanne's great new shelves... okay, not that great, but I'm excited she has them and they're pretty much done. A little more organization... check!


Funny Cory

So yesterday Cory was trying to decide whether he liked Macaroni Grill or Olive Garden better... here are his arguments for each:

Olive Garden: delicious breadsticks, other good foods, too.

Macaroni Grill: Great bathroom! You could sit in there all day and walk out knowing Italian! (oh, and he liked the vinegar and oil with the bread, too.)

Time to sleep...

So last night was Breanne's first night in her toddler bed... and she did great! She went to bed with no problems, just as if she'd been sleeping in her new bed all her life. When we went in at about 1:00 am to check on her, we found her asleep on the pile of soft things next to the bed, so we moved her back to her bed. This morning she called for me and banged her feet against the wall just like she always does, to come and get her up. She was trying to tell me that she needed my help, until I explained to her that she could do it herself. The funny part was, I noticed that the book and cup of water we'd given her last night was across the room by her bookshelf... and neither Cory nor I had moved it... which means that she HAD already been up, and maybe was just trying to trick me into believing she hadn't? I'm not really sure.

Anyway, I just wanted to share some fav photos from the last 2 years (nearly) of Breanne sleeping... the last couple are from last night, and naptime today. I'm so proud of Breanne! but I can't believe she's so grown up.

Asleep at the hospital.

Asleep in the bassinet (this lasted about 3 more minutes after this... had to use tricks to get her to sleep in there! :)

Sleeping in the snow gear in the carseat.

Asleep in her crib

Asleep in her high chair... whoops! I promise I didn't leave her there very long, she was just too tired to keep her eyes open!

Asleep last night in her bed for the first time.

Ok, not sleeping here, just playing in it this morning--showing off Dad's great pile of stuff on the floor meant to keep her safe... :)

Again just hanging out in her new bed.

A few more things to cross off the list...

I am so proud of all the things we've accomplished in the last few days! I really was hoping (but not expecting) to get so much done, and we did it!

On Friday, Cory's family (I think because they were under the impression that I was going to have the baby last weekend.. miscommunication there... oops) came down and painted Breanne's room green, and it is beautiful! To those of that clan who read this--thank you SO MUCH for all your help! I honestly couldn't have done it without you guys.

On Sunday (bad weather prevented it from being on Saturday) Herschel and Jake came down with all the bookshelves and other random goodies we could ever hope to find space for in our house. So I've been working on Breanne's room all morning (ours was mostly done last night) and everything is coming along so nicely. I will post pictures as soon as the projects are completed... perhaps this evening. I just wanted to post something now, because I haven't posted in a few days, and I don't want all ya'll to get your hopes up, thinking I've been in the hospital having this baby, because I'm not. I'm shooting for this weekend... but we'll see.